is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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