I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
