would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
