From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
