I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
