so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My pussy is not your playground.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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