Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
