i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
