I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
