Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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