white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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