he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
