Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Never let your siblings swipe right.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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