I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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