At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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