Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
