Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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