You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
