ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
