Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
