Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
