Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
