Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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