I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
