Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
