Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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