tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
