I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
