my soul wont recognize me after tonight
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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