Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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