That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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