y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
is it fun? or sober?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize