okay pat passed out under dana's car
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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