I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
