Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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