Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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