Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
