you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
