can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
