Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
