In the future we'll all be gay
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I smell like Dick and happiness
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
