Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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