I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
