Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
