Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
