im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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