Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
