I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
