the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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