"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
