he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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