The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize