Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
