My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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