hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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