I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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