If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
