I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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