respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
